Sunday, August 27, 2006

BJJ Types Part 2

From Gumby's OnTheMat blog

The Spy:

This guy comes in one day, is very friendly, seems to know a lot about BJJ scene and says he’s from out of town. He rolls and blends in with the students, seems like a very promising prospect for the club. Result: You never see him again after the first class and months later when browsing a competition’s website you see the mother****er in their seminar photos being one of their “regulars”.

The Shadow-Boxer:

The guy who has some striking martial art experience (usually a TMAer who can’t accept the fact that his black belt is being rendered useless by these 150-lb. guys who tap him relentlessly) and decides to feint it in BJJ class. While rolling, will throw fake shots, to simulate a Vale Tudo match. Convinced that a punch will change the pace of the match from anywhere, in the clinch, from his guard, while mounted by someone much better. Usually, this specimen’s actions can be halted with a quick leg grab/take down while he is throwing a knee from the clinch.
Another good solutionis to sit on their chest mounted on them very much underneath their armpits and not actually try to submit them. Watch em squirm.

Takada Guy:

His one goal is to not tap under any circumstances, considering that lasting is almost like winning. This guy mounts no offence at all and concentrates exclusively on tucking in all his extremities and ‘nullifying’ your game. After a round of wasting your time and his, will give you the “you couldn’t tap me, so we’re about even in skill” look and gasp his way to the sidelines to sit the next roll out.
Humiliation time. Remember the surfboard technique Pe de Pano and Marc Laimon have pulled off in competition?

The “One Move Wonder” Guy:

This is the guy who manages to get really good at one position/submission and only goes for that one particular move. While somewhat impressive in the beginning, this is the eternal blue belt that dominates the beginners but never develops the rest of his game. Normally seen with a bronze or silver medal at the local tourneys.

The Pressure Pointer:

Usually a black belt in some other form of martial art who once you mount him or working on choking him, will try to do some kind of pressure point prior to tapping.

The “Challenge The Weakest Antelope In The Herd” Guy:

This is the guy that stands around or stretches when everyone first starts rolling. Then when a new white belt takes a break from rolling, he hops on the mat and says “Hey, lets roll a bit.” He then proceeds to own the fatigued white belt with an assortment of wild crazy subs.

The Natural:

some guy, usually young, comes into the gym and at first gets beat all over the mat, but slowly and surely every week, he gets better. After one week, you can no longer have your way with him. After two, you can only catch him with your best moves. After three, you are struggling to tap him. One month passes and you are tapping each other. Another month and the roles reverse. He will soon tap people you’ve never even gotten close to.
BJ Penn. Except I think it was a matter of days as oppossed to weeks

The False Technician:

Every class this guy’s going up to somebody wanting to show them a “new move” that he’s “invented.” If he considers you “technical” enough he will let you drill his patented omoplata to triangle to armlock to kneebar to toehold combo with him. The major problem with this guy is that he can’t pull any of these moves off on anybody save for the newest guy. The false technician gets owned by almost everybody else and burns with hate for those who school him on the mat with a simpler but more solid game.

The Human Vice:

The beginner who plays football or lifts, who’s sole form of defense and offense is to latch onto your head and squeeze with all their strength. Then you simply sit in the dominant position, usually side control, until they become exhausted let go and then tap 3 seconds later when you go to knee ride or mount

The Lurker:

This is the guy who will sit on the wall and watch you train for an hour w/ every upper belt in the class, saving his energy. Then when you lie on the mat exhausted, will come up to say “wanna train?” but will never train w/ you when you are fresh.

The Sweat Dripper:

some guy, usually late 30’s, early 40’s, that sweats buckets that DRIP on your face when he’s in your guard. You pretty much have to tap as his sweat pours into your eyes, mouth, etc.


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